Looking for Kindness
If there’s one thing I love to hear about or see on TV, social media, or in my community its kindness. I love seeing glimpses of human kindness towards one another; and I try with all my might, only to fail, to be a person who shows regular kindness to others. I just think the world is a little brighter when we’re good to each other. I think about how every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17). Kindness is a good and perfect gift. And one of the fruits of the Spirit? Kindness (Galatians 5:22). The fruit of the Spirit originates and flows out of the very nature and character of God. God is kind.
About two years ago, while facing circumstances that left me discouraged, frustrated, and defeated, I thought to myself, “if God is kind and if by His very nature He is steady, unchanging, and constant, then how might that influence the way I view my life and the hand that I’ve been dealt?” Since then, my heart has been set on seeking out the Lord’s kindness. I've been working to be intentional at looking at all my circumstances - the good, the lovely, the bad, the hurtful - through the lens of God’s kindness towards me.
It’s easy to see His kindness when things go our way - we have good friends, our coffee gets paid for by the stranger in front of us, we’re feeling successful at school, in work, and hobbies. But what about when we keep running up against closed doors? When we fail? When that person hurts us? It's hard. This life is full of hurt and disappointment. Sometimes the pain is a consequence of my own choices, and other times it’s the result of the hurtful actions of others against me.
It’s so hard. It can be natural to blame or question God, and I firmly believe He can handle our doubts and questions and frustrations.. But I also know and believe that Jesus came to give us a full, abundant life (John 10:10). Despite everything He warned us about, we can take heart! He has overcome the world (John 16:33) and its troubles. He is so kind, so faithful, so loving to repurpose the hurt and disappointment to redirect, to protect, to lead to His fullness. He alone is able to work it out for the good of those who love Him(Romans 8:28). Not for our comfort or for our convenience, but for our good. And my greatest good? It’s His presence, His nearness (Psalm 73:28) - my greatest good is Him.
Searching for God’s kindness leads me to Him. It may not change the hard things in the moment, but it changes me. It changes my heart. And isn’t that what God wants? What He’s after? He’s after my heart. He's after yours. Romans 2:4 tells us that it’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance. Growing up in the church, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of a legalistic view of God. I messed up, so God is mad at me. I’m not praying long enough or reading my Bible every day, so God is disappointed in me. I’ve thought these kinds of things, but it only makes me want to hide from God; but a God who uses kindness to call me back to Himself? That’s a God I want to run towards on both the good and bad days.
So I started to look for how I could trace God’s kindness toward me in different parts of my life. Every ‘no’ to my prayers and pleas? God’s kindness because He had other plans for me - better plans, better timing. Every hard season when I didn’t know if I would make it? God’s kindness because He sustained me and shaped me through it. He was near in a way no one else was. This one can be harder to see in the moment, but the more I’ve lived through these seasons the more I’m able to hold to hope that His thoughts and ways are beyond our own (Isaiah 55:8-9) and that He’s been weaving a story of redemption through my own life.
Changing my perspective to look for God’s kindness in my life has helped me cling to hope that God hasn’t forgotten me. He’s not complacent to my pain and struggle. He’s not ignoring my questions. He’s with me, calling me to Himself, all while He’s ordering everything behind the scenes to work out for His glory and my good. My heart, my hope, my sorrows, and my circumstances are always secure in His mighty, gracious, and kind hands.
“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”
— Titus 3:4
Michelle Ellis is a TCK from Argentina. She now serves as a full-time missionary associate with Assemblies of God World Missions. Her focus is to provide support and resources to TCKs in the Latin America Caribbean region. She started THE ROOTED TCK as a way to provide tools, support, and community so that TCKs and their families can continue living out their missionary calling.